Meddling Moms

             One of the greatest desires of most parents is to see their children succeed.  As a result, they sometimes push a little harder than they should.  On occasion, they even interfere in situations that are best left for their children to manage.

            My Mom was like that.  She and my Dad were so proud when I graduated from Law School.  They couldn’t wait for the day that I would be sworn in as an attorney.  Unfortunately, it was almost three months after I took the bar exam until I finally became official.  That was three months of agony, waiting to see if I passed the exam.  It wasn’t until the swearing-in ceremony that I found out how impatient my Mother had been.

            After the ceremony, we each stood in line at the Kentucky Supreme Court Clerk’s office to receive our certificates that declared us to be full-fledged members of the Kentucky Bar.  When my time finally came, I gave the clerk my name.  She looked at me very seriously—almost angrily—and said, “So, you’re Elaine Duncan!”  I had never met this woman and didn’t have a clue why she responded as she did.  I replied rather sheepishly, “Yes,” wondering what I could have possibly done to upset her.

            Later that day, I told my family about the incident.  It was then that Mom spilled the beans.  She and my Dad had been planning a vacation with friends, but they couldn’t risk missing my big day.  Unbeknownst to me, Mom contacted one of our State Representatives that she knew and explained the problem.  The Representative began calling the Clerk’s office regularly to inquire about my status.  My Mom’s eagerness almost got me in hot water before I had practiced one day. 

            Two of the disciples had a similar problem with their Mom.  The mother of James and John was probably no stranger to Jesus’ ministry.  Her sons were early followers of Jesus and had given up their lives as fishermen to follow Him.  It’s no wonder then that she wanted the very best for them.  Unfortunately, when she approached Jesus with her request, she had no idea what she was really asking. 

            Shortly before Jesus’ crucifixion, she came to Jesus one day, asking for a favor on behalf of her sons.  (Matthew 20: 20).  As Mark tells it in his Gospel account (Mark 10: 35 – 45), unlike me, her boys were in on her activities on their behalf.  This mother, wanting only the best for her boys, asked Jesus to give them the highest positions in His Kingdom—one on His right and one on His left.  I wonder what she thought of Jesus’ answer, “You don’t know what you are asking” (Matthew 20:22a NIV84).  He was right, of course, as the next few days would reveal.

            Her question stirred up trouble among the disciples who were angry that James and John would try to get the upper hand.  Rather than rebuke them, Jesus set them all straight, teaching us a valuable lesson at the same time.  He said,

            “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20: 26b – 28 NIV84). 

            As much as we want to help our loved ones succeed, sometimes we don’t know what we are asking.  Fortunately, my Mom’s actions only caused me a few moments of uneasiness.  I’m not sure that we can say the same about the actions of the Disciples’ Mom.  I can’t help but wonder what the Mother of James and John was thinking a few days later when her sons went into hiding and Jesus hung, dying on the cross.  Did she think about His words that day—"You don’t know what you are asking”? 

            Instead of striving for success and prestige, maybe we should be teaching our children to be servants.  That’s what Jesus was, and I can’t think of a better person to emulate. 

Matthew 20: 20 - 28