Tamar and Her Dysfunctional Family

             Today, I want to continue our look at the women of the Bible.  The story of Tamar is one of lust, rape, incest, and murder.  The irony is that it involved the sons and daughter of King David—the man after God’s own heart. In short, it is a picture of a dysfunctional family.

            Tamar, David’s daughter was raped by her half-brother, Amnon.  He first lusted after her, devising an elaborate plot to be alone with her.  When she refused his advances, he raped her.  Afterward, he banished her from his presence.  Her brother, Absalom, took her into his home, where she would live as a desolate woman.

            King David was furious when he heard what had happened (II Samuel 13: 21), but there was no indication that he did anything to punish Amnon or to comfort Tamar.  Why?  We can’t know for sure why he failed to act but we can speculate.

            Perhaps, by punishing Amnon he would have to acknowledge his own guilt in seducing Bathsheba (II Samuel 11).  Perhaps, he couldn’t face Tamar knowing how badly he had treated his first wife, Michal (II Samuel 3: 13 – 16).  Finally, it may have been because Amnon, as his eldest son, was heir to the throne.  Whatever, the reason, the one who should have stood for justice in Israel did nothing.

            Tamar’s brother, Absalom, did not take the situation lightly.  For two years, he said nothing but seethed with anger.  Then, he threw a sheepshearing party and invited all of David’s sons, including Amnon.  After Amnon became drunk, Absalom ordered his men to kill Amnon.  When David heard the news that Amnon was dead at Absalom’s hand, he “wept bitterly” (II Samuel 13: 36).  Absalom fled, and David mourned his loss as well (II Samuel 13: 37), but he did not go after him. 

            So, what do we learn from this dysfunctional family?

            First, God is faithful to His Word.  After David’s sinful acts regarding Bathsheba and her husband, God told David that “the sword will never depart from your house” (II Samuel 12: 10.  The result was that one son was a rapist, another was a murderer, and his daughter was scarred for life.  Sin will not go unpunished, and unfortunately, it often has repercussions far beyond the perpetrator.

            It also teaches that those who do evil must be brought to justice.  If David had brought charges against Amnon, and punished him according to the law, perhaps the story would have ended differently. David’s blind eye to evil only magnified the problem.

            No family is immune from the pain of sin.  David’s dysfunctional family is a prime example.  The results of sin will include grief, sorrow, and potentially, more sin.  Our actions affect not just ourselves but often the people we love, as well.  Knowing that makes sin, not just evil, but also selfish.  We’ve all probably wounded someone because of our sinful actions.  That’s a heavy load to bear.  David can attest to that!

II Samuel 13