Remembering Dad!

             This coming Sunday is Father’s Day.  Even though my Dad has been gone for 12 years, this and other special days always make me think of him. 

            Like me, Dad was an introvert.  Some of my parents’ biggest disagreements were over whether they would go to some family get-together or visit some friends or family.  The fact that Dad usually let Mom win shows how much he loved her.

            During Covid, with time on my hands, I had an opportunity to write some of our more recent family history so that it would not be forgotten.  As part of that project, I went into my Mother’s cedar chest, and for the first time, I read her diary and my Dad’s letters to her while he served in Germany at the close of World War II. 

            Probably the two most important things that I learned from that project are: First, from the first time that Mom wrote about Dad in her diary, she never wrote about another boy in a romantic way.  That entry was several years before they married.  Talk about love at first sight!

            Secondly, from Dad’s letters, I learned that he never wanted to take another boat ride across the ocean and that he dearly loved and missed my Mom.  They were married less than six months after he was discharged and just two weeks after she graduated from high school.  They stayed married for 64 years until he passed away in 2011.

            Dad was always a family man.  Except for work, there were few things that we did not do as a family.  He always let Mom take care of the finances because she was better with numbers.  We often joked that the checks would probably bounce if he signed them.

            Every Friday night, we visited his widowed Mom, but that didn’t mean that we neglected Mom’s parents.  They lived right next door to us until my maternal grandfather died in 1960. 

            Dad was drafted during his senior year of high school, but that didn’t stop him from valuing education.  After he left the army, he went to night school to become an electrician, and he always challenged me to be all that I could be.

            He was never flamboyant about his faith, but he was baptized as a youngster, and church continued to be a part of his life from then on.  He quietly pointed us in the right direction.

            The only time that he ever challenged anything that I wanted to do was when I told him that I was going on a mission trip to Southeast Asia.  He thought it would be dangerous and was pretty adamant that I shouldn’t go, but he knew that I had the “Duncan stubbornness” so ultimately it would be my decision.

            Perhaps Dad’s greatest attribute was the way he loved my Mom.  When she became confined to a wheelchair, he patiently cared for her as best he could.  Like me, he had never been a personal caregiver, but he rose to the challenge with loving care and concern.  When dementia and Alzheimer’s compounded the problem, he continued to lovingly care for “Mandy,” the love of his life.  He never complained, and even continued to the detriment of his own health.  His last action, the day that he died, was to spend the day with her at her hospital bedside.

            Dad wasn’t perfect.  No human dad is, but he loved, provided, and served his family well.  I think he gave me just a tiny glimpse of how well our Heavenly Father loves, provides, and serves us every day. I’m so thankful that he was my Dad!

Proverbs 17: 6b and Ephesians 6: 1